40 Days & 40 Nights

words and music by Ben Caplan

appears on Birds with Broken Wings [link to webstore] and Recollection [link to webstore]

I been out in the desert

I have wandered on through the sands

I been burned, I been thirsty

I've walked with the devil through dangerous lands

I have seen with my eyes images I wish I could erase

I have danced with lady temptation

I've felt her fire, I have seen her face

Well, I can't make it, I won't last another day

Cause each day is torture

Baby, each day is torture when you're away

I can't do without you

My lover, my partner, my friend

And now that you're gone each moment's so long

I can't wait till you come back again

I been missing my woman

Forty days and forty nights

Earlier today, heard somebody say

That he didn't believe that true love exists anyway

And earlier today, heard that same man say

That any man is a liar who says he desires

To be with one woman the rest of his days

Well, I don't know how the future is going to unfold

And I don't know just how we're gonna feel when we get old

But there's one thing, baby

Honey, one thing I'm certain is true

I have tried it out, I can't do without

No, I don't want to live without you

I been missing my woman

Forty days and forty nights

I been lost out at sea, rocked the boat

Felt the sting of the rain

I been surrounded by couples

I felt loneliness I could never explain

I have felt in my heart the flood of despair overtake

Not knowing for sure if I could endure

Overwhelmed by the value of what was at stake

Well, I can't make it, I won't last another day

Cause each day is torture

Baby, each day is torture when you're away

I can't do without you

My lover, my partner, my friend

And now that you're gone each moment's so long

I can't wait till you come back again

I been missing my woman

Forty days and forty nights

Bang to Break the Drum

words by Joseph Daniel Girard, music by Ben Caplan

appears on In the Time of the Great Remembering [link to webstore]

Just like an elephant memory, he comes and never fades

She turned his stomach upside down as she played the queen of spades

They pistol-whipped an outcome, tossed a coin, and called a draw

Threw a blanket on a flight of stairs and fastened up his jaw

We bang to break the drum

We rub the shine, we shine the light

We light the fuse, we fuse the powder

Cause the powder makes it right

We bang to break the shed

We shed the skin, we skin the bear

We bear the fall, we fall the towers

Cause the towers brings me there

The petals fall forever on Picadilly Lane

And the children take their medicine as they stand to watch the rain

The wagon wheels are made of cheese, the moon is made from grass

And the Wicca drink the water where the preacher screams for mass

We bang to break the drum

We rub the shine, we shine the light

We light the fuse, we fuse the powder

Cause the powder makes it right

We bang to break the shed

We shed the skin, we skin the bear

We bear the fall, we fall the towers

Cause the towers brings me there

Nothing was as flawless as the sirens in her mind

He broke apart her diary to doctor all he’d find

The carnival was sleeping when the doves had gotten free

But the treasure of the secret love is swallowing the key

We bang to break the drum

We rub the shine, we shine the light

We light the fuse, we fuse the powder

Cause the powder makes it right

We bang to break the shed

We shed the skin, we skin the bear

We bear the fall, we fall the towers

Cause the towers brings me there

The dead are all we have to set the worthiness of life

The angels smoke about the bridges sharpening the knife

The ceiling was a sucker-punch from Michael to the Pope

The anti-mute wear muzzles and a necklace cut from rope

We bang to break the drum

We rub the shine, we shine the light

We light the fuse, we fuse the powder

Cause the powder makes it right

We bang to break the shed

We shed the skin, we skin the bear

We bear the fall, we fall the towers

Cause the towers brings me there

The army trucks patrolling all but under angry stars

Say the pilgrimage is all beset by men who stroke guitars

The moon upon her caravan is driving thunderheads

While the painter sings about his blues and chokes upon his red

We bang to break the drum

We rub the shine, we shine the light

We light the fuse, we fuse the powder

Cause the powder makes it right

We bang to break the shed

We shed the skin, we skin the bear

We bear the fall, we fall the towers

Cause the towers brings me there

Birds with Broken Wings

words and music by Ben Caplan

appears on Birds with Broken Wings and Recollection

Bring me birds with broken wings

Men with all the answers

People who have killed

Give me incurable cancers

Bring me beaches slicked in oil

Give me disregard for doubt

Street light shine on broken roads 

Where no one is about

I want that hopeless green depression

Punishments without a cause

Give me impotent obsession 

And disregard for laws

I want the trees in single file

Bring the corpse of something rare

Show me children who are sinners

Show me mounds of human hair

I climbed up the mountain just to kill my son

An angel tried to stop me with a ram

Well, he said, "Your mind's infected, " but I said, "You lack perspective"

You gotta walk the bottom if you wanna see the top

Give me poison I can swim in

Water I can't drink

Wheels that won't stop spinning

Teach my children not to think

I want the fruit that tastes like nothing 

Extra thumbs for every crook

Give me lessons without questions

And mild disdain for books

Give me metaphors unraveled

Poetry defined

Bring me the head of Dionysius

But please, don't spill out the wine

Trade the future for the present

Trade me ashes for my history

I don't need to look inside

I know the answer to the mystery

I climbed up the mountain just to kill my son

An angel tried to stop me with a ram

Well he said, "Your mind's infected, " but I said, "You lack perspective"

You gotta walk the bottom if you wanna see the top

Oh, I know they call me crazy

There will be no turning back

I don't care if things get ugly

Once the word of G-d is spoken

There's no way to take it back

I climbed up the mountain just to kill my son

An angel tried to stop me with a ram

Well he said, "Your mind's infected, " but I said, "You lack perspective"

You gotta walk the bottom if you wanna see the top

Deliver Me

words and music by Joseph Daniel Girard

appears on Birds with Broken Wings

I don't believe in heaven in the winter

I don't believe in winter in the fall

I beat my temples just to see them splinter

I tear the wings off flies just to see them crawling

Down, down through the gravel and the mud

Where a rope can't knot and the soap can't sud

Saint Peter's on a smoke break, the Devil's dressed in silk

And you always eat the mother after drinking her milk

I don't believe my I's are ever dotted

I don't believe my T's are ever crossed

I stick it in because I see it slotted

I kick it in the ribs to have it turn and tossing

Down, down through the weeds and the rain

Where a man can't lie and a woman can't faint

Saint Peter's on a smoke break, the Devil's dressed in silk

And you always eat the mother after drinking her milk

Deliver me

Doctor, deliver me

Doctor, deliver me from this world

I don't believe in happily or in after

I don't believe in dreams I can't recall

I never got invited to the rafters

I never got why sinners never see themselves falling

Down, down through the fire and the smoke

Where a leg can't set and an egg can't yolk

Saint Peter's on a smoke break, the Devil's dressed in silk

And you always eat the mother after drinking her milk

Deliver me

Doctor, deliver me

Doctor, deliver me from this world

Deliver me

Deliver me from this world

Lovers' Waltz

words and music by A.A. Bondy

appears on Birds with Broken Wings

Do you wanna dance, will you wear my ring

Will you lay with me until the final bullets sing

Over our heads, over our heads

In a lovers' waltz we'll turn until the end

Will you marry me, don't you wanna spin

Will you run with me until the ground folds us within

Over our heads, over our heads

In a lovers' waltz we'll turn until the end

And your shipwreck eyes, they sing to me

As we ride a killer whale across a diamond sea

Over our heads, over our heads

In a lovers' waltz we'll turn until the end

And I will hang for you, and you will hang for me

And the northern lights will take us in like refugees

Over our heads, over our heads

In a lovers' waltz we'll turn until the end

Night Like Tonight

words and music by Ben Caplan

appears on Birds with Broken Wings and Recollection

On a night like tonight 

When there's no one around

I don't have any friends in this town

Flip through my books

Wash my clothes in the sink

And there’s only one thought I can think

On a night like tonight 

With no concert to play

But I'm stuck on the road anyway

A hotel room with an ashtray by the bed

And I can't get you out of my head

I just want to sing you a love song

Just wanna be by your side

I'm so through with these new foreign landscapes

I just wanna see your face

On a night like tonight

When my passion's been spent

I'm just working a job to pay rent

To be so far from home to be living my dreams

I guess nothing is quite what it seems

On a night like tonight

When the rain keeps me in

I'm so tired of the usual sins

A church bell rings and I'm certain at last

That I'm finally done with the past

And I know that at home you're still waiting

For me to climb up those stairs

And I know that you're still hesitating

But baby, I'm already there

I just want to sing you a love song

Just wanna be by your side

I'm so through with these new foreign landscapes

I just wanna see your face

Ride On

words and music by Ben Caplan

appears on Birds with Broken Wings

Sometimes it's a matter of fact

Everybody in your bed with their diplomats

Sometimes it's a matter of taste

Everybody wants to hear about the big mistakes

Everybody wants a piece of your heart

Telling you they've been there for you right from the start

It's never easy baby, but it's a must

You gotta find out exactly who you can trust

Every day is like a marathon

Wondering how you ever go so far from the dawn

You look around you and everything changed

Everything broken, unspoken, and strange

She lifts a pistol to your temple and smiles

"Don't worry baby, I'll be here a while."

Sometimes you wonder if you’re in too deep

It's all going under you just gotta keep it going

Everyday is a matter of haste

Telling you that you’ve got too much talent to waste

Most times the cards are all stacked

Everyone but you knows you are on the wrong track

And when you feel like there is no turning back

Your idols are broken, the marble is cracked

That's when you gotta push it right to the edge

Without looking back and just step right off the ledge

Everyday you gotta run for your life

Wondering if it's them or you that stuck in the knife

It doesn't matter when you reach the end

So come have a seat and relax

She pistol whips you and tells you "You’re clever.

Don't worry baby, I'll be here forever."

And now you realize you're in too deep

It's all going under you just gotta keep it going

Each day she glares at me across the morning sky

She's coming from the east to kill me 

I know it's true but she won't tell me why 

She spins around me 

Numbered pirouettes until i'm gone

But in the mean time I know my only choice is to ride on

Under Control

words and music by Ben Caplan

appears on Birds with Broken Wings and Recollection